By Alan Madlane
If you’ve ever wanted to attend a funeral home’s estate sale – and be honest, who hasn’t? – you’re about to be in luck.
Beginning this weekend and running for four days, the Krot Funeral Home is liquidating some of its, ah, stuff.
As Chuck Barris might say.
Starting Saturday, May 16 at 10 a.m., the sale will be conducted online only through EstateSales.net. The sale will proceed each day through Tuesday, May 19 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., excepting Sunday, when it won’t begin until noon.
Longtime conductor of such sales, Edmund Frank, will preside over the festivities.
The Krot family, by the way, is retiring from the profession, and the building has been sold. We hear it will be reborn as a pawn shop.
Pictures and beginning prices for all currently available items are already posted to the website.
The collection, as a whole, manages impossibly to be both more, and less, weird than one might think.
Think “Grandma’s house,” if grandma was a bit … off?
You want examples? We’ve got examples.
How about a basket full of naked dolls? Or a batch of Playboy Magazines (really, Playboy at a funeral home?!)?
Perhaps a back-lit framed art work of an angel won’t be too creepy for you.
Perhaps a bunch of pedestals? An organ? A nightgown? Shoes?
They have it all.
Yep, even a casket. Maybe you could symbolically, you know, bury your debt in the back yard?
The mind reels.
A wall relief of the last supper is interesting. And by interesting we mean, terrifying. You’ll just have to see the “item” for itself.
More, you say?
There’s a crucifix, in a heart-shaped frame, with deep green velvet backing: Swanky.
There’s a cut-glass torchier upright lamp: Snazzy.
There’s a kneeler with what might be Bakelite legs, this time dressed out in red velvet. It’s downright mystical.
So, don’t cry that you’ll have nothing to do this weekend.
You want some fun? All it takes is cash.
Well, that, and a healthy sense of the macabre.
Posted May 15, 2020