Paczki Day once again dishes up too much fun; too much fun? Nah

Paczki Day is next Tuesday Feb. 21), and once again thousands of paczki lovers will jam into our bakeries. The bad news: There is now one less bakery in town offering the Polish pastry treats. New Martha Washington, formerly on Jos. Campau near Caniff, closed its doors last year. File photo

By Charles Sercombe
Rest up, Hamtramck.
Our big day will soon be here.
It’s Hamtramck’s very own version of Mardi Gras — or, as we prefer to call it: Paczki Day.
Paczki is, for the uninitiated, a pre-Lenten treat; eaten on the day (Mardi Gras, or “Fat Tuesday” in English) where you get to indulge in all things bad for you right before Lent begins.
The custom is, Ash Wednesday (always 46 days before Easter) begins Lent, where you refrain from whatever vice(s) you have for 46 days — and then go back at it, or not. Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, is therefore the last day to go wild for 46 days.
So what makes Paczki so special? It’s usually offered just once a year, although it seems to be getting offered year-round nowadays.
It’s filled will with all things good, but fattening. If that still seems like over-doing it, remember you have 46 days to repent from your paczki sins.
Next Tuesday is our city’s own version of the holiday, where thousands of folks come to Hamtramck to buy dozens and dozens of authentic paczki from our bakeries.
Sadly, though, there are now only two places left in town to purchase this Polish pastry delicacy: the venerable New Palace Bakery (located at 9833 Jos. Campau), and Family Donut, at the corner of Conant and Caniff (the northeast corner, to be exact).
The folks that ran New Martha Washington bakery, at Jos. Campau and Caniff, retired and closed down last year, much to everyone’s sorrow.
So, what that means is: order ahead, and avoid the long lines. You can contact New Palace at (313) 875-1334, and Family Donut at (313) 368-9214).
For the early, early risers, New Palace opens up at 3 a.m. on Tuesday (that’s Paczki Day, and yes, you read that right). Family Donut opens its doors at 5 a.m.
As usual, there are several bars that join in the daylong – oh heck — nightlong, festivities.
Want to know a cozy little hangout where you can also get paczki and eat in comfort?
Sure you do. Head over to PLAV Post 6, located at 9545 McDougall, at the corner of Evaline, and munch on a bunch inside, along with seeing the friendly faces and enjoying the generous libations.
What’s on the Paczki Day entertainment schedule? Plenty.
Here we go:
Hamtramck’s favorite party band The Polish Muslims will once be pulling double-duty, playing first at Ant Hall (2320 Caniff) starting at 10:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., and then treking over to Whiskey in the Jar (Yemans, just west of Jos. Campau) to play from 2:30 to 5 p.m.
Whew, how do they do it?
Like to see people gorge themselves on paczki?
Yeah, probably not, but what the heck. Head over to PLAV Post 10 hall (11824 Jos. Campau) at high noon, climb the steep stairs to the hall’s second floor, and “enjoy” watching a paczki eating contest. It’s known as the longest 15 minutes in history, at least in paczki history.
The “winner” gets to take a photo with a big trophy cup.
Not too long ago, a guy named Matt scarfed down 11 paczki. Not bad, but contestants will have to stretch their stomach to beat the all-time champ, who managed to devour 22 of them a few years ago — and live to tell about it.
It’s all good sticky fun.
At 12:30 p.m., everyone can shake off a few paczki pounds by dancing to live polka music, provided by the Chardon Polka Band.
Later on, another Hamtramck fave plays: Danny D and the Vagabonds, starting at 5 p.m. (and rocking until 7:30 p.m.).
New Dodge Lounge (8850 Jos. Campau) has new owners, and they are keeping their Paczki Day tradition going. Doors open at 7 a.m., and there are a whole bunch of activities. According to their Facebook page, here’s what’s in store, and no, we have no idea what Babushka cat painting is about:
• Bobafrog, acoustic rock 8-11a.m.
• Live Babushka Cat painting at 1p.m.
• Detroit City Distillery Paczki Vodka featured all day along, with a signature cocktail and Skeeball and a shot
• Offbeat karaoke later in the day with robbyrob313
The folks over at Small’s Bar, located at the corner of Caniff and Conant, once again host a rowdy and fun day, featuring live music, starting at 10 a.m., by:
The Strains; East Side Elvis and The Motor City Mafia; Polka Floyd; and Eastside Still Alive.
Small’s is also the home of “paczki bombs,” which is just what you would think they are: paczki filled with shots of booze. Lots of booze. It’s an effort to get one down!
The Motor City Sports Bar (9122 Jos. Campau) is once again open, after going through extensive remodeling.
For those attending the Paczki Run, the bar is right there near the starting line, and you can grab one of the best burgers in the metro area to help fuel your festivities. Or, soak up your alcohol intake.
We can’t leave out Whiskey in the Jar, the only Irish bar in the metro area where hardly anyone is Irish.
It’s small, funky little joint, but there’s also a huge, heated tent in back where there is live music. The Kielbasa Kings will kick the day off at 11 a.m. with polka jams.
Here’s what the bar has to say about itself: “Paczki Day, The Whiskey Way ain’t for the noobs, rookies or amateurs. … We weren’t voted One Of America’s Best Bad Decision Bars for nothing!!
OK, Fat Tuesday, this time we really will get back to a regular exercise routine and a cut-down on the calories.
Posted Feb. 17, 2023